Although I have been in the industry for 45 years, there is something that I can’t, for the life of me, understand why we haven’t figured out. I mean, we’ve solved problems that would make Rube Goldberg weep with envy, but THIS one?
Apparently, rocket science is easier than letting a fat man in a red suit into your house without waking the dead.
We have watched in awe as the industry tackled issues such as (at the time) the regional bell operating companies (RBOCs) entering “our” domain. We survived the move from direct wire to digital dialers with POTS lines, then watched those same POTS lines become about as useful as a rotary phone at a texting convention.
Then came cellular communication for intrusion and eventually fire, forcing us to explain to our customers why their alarm was now essentially running on the same technology their teenager uses to ignore them.
We weathered the “race to the bottom” storm of professionally installed $99.00 alarm systems—a pricing strategy that made Dollar Store shopping look fiscally responsible. Then came the proliferation of DIY companies, allowing homeowners to experience the joy of installing their own security systems, usually right after they’ve finished assembling IKEA furniture while sobbing.
Buyers and sellers now look at multiples of EBITDA vs recurring monthly revenue (RMR) as a valuation method — and I thought EBITDA was my great aunt in New York who always smelled like mothballs. We even lived through the on-again, off-again launch/no-launch saga of Advisor!, a will-they-won’t-they drama that lasted longer than most marriages.
However, even with AI that can probably predict your morning bathroom schedule, analytics so advanced they border on psychic and sensor technology that can detect a moth’s sneeze at 50 feet, we’ve yet been able to address the most feared issue that faces us this time of year:
How do we allow Kris Kringle—yes, Santa Claus himself—to enter our clients’ homes on Christmas Eve without activating the alarm?
Inside the Santa Intrusion Protocol Standard (SIPS)
Think about it. Here’s a jolly breaking-and-entering aficionado who literally specializes in unauthorized rooftop access, forced chimney entry, consumption of unsecured food items and departing the premises without proper documentation. He checks every single box on the “suspicious activity” list.
He’s essentially a burglar with better PR and union-made toys.
In late 2023, I was approached on behalf of a confidential client (let’s just say he works one day a year and has serious real estate holdings at the North Pole) to work with industry manufacturers and central stations to develop the Santa Intrusion Protocol Standard, SIPS for short. Apparently, we couldn’t resist one more acronym in an industry already drowning in them like fruitcake at an office party.
Working in conjunction with industry associations, our great manufacturing partners (who stopped laughing at us around March) and several very confused UL engineers, SIPS will officially debut Dec. 24 at 6 P.M. Eastern—giving you just enough time to panic-test your systems one last time.
There is no need for concern. Central stations are in the loop, though several operators have requested hazard pay for Christmas Eve shifts. The protocol has been tested extensively in controlled environments (Macy’s, shopping malls and one very confused homeowners’ association in Scottsdale).
SIPS protocol does not require clients to “opt in,” because, let’s be honest, explaining this to customers would be harder than explaining why their cat keeps triggering the motion detector. However, for security reasons and general holiday whimsy, the standard duress password has been temporarily modified for Dec. 24 only.
If for any reason the alarm activates on Dec. 24 between 6 p.m. and Dec. 25 at 5 a.m., the client must recite the following authorized passphrase to the central station operator:
‘Twas the Night Before Christmas (Security Industry Edition)
‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house
Not a sensor was tripping, not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
While SIPS protocol armed the system with flair.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While door contacts monitored motion detectors’ threads.
And mama with her key fob and I with my app,
Had just checked the system: “All zones look good, chap!”
When out on the roof there arose such a clatter,
The glass break sensors started to chatter.
Away to the panel I flew in a flash,
Praying it wasn’t another false alarm dash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave outdoor cameras a nice thermal glow,
When what on my monitoring app should appear,
But a miniature sleigh and eight heat signatures clear!
With a portly old driver so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment: SIPS better not glitch!
More rapid than technicians his reindeer they came,
As he whistled and shouted and called them by name:
“Now Napco! Now JCI! Now 2GiG and Resideo!
On Alarm.com! On all panels! Don’t sound the audio!”
To the top of the porch, to the top of the wall,
Bypass those zones, now bypass them all!”
As dry contacts before the wild PIRs fly,
When they meet with impedance, they mount to the sky,
So down through the chimney (Zone 7, exterior!)
St. Nicholas came—SIPS held the perimeter.
He was dressed all in fur from his head to his foot
And his clothes triggered neither smoke detector nor soot.
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
All properly scanned—no threats in his pack.
His eyes—how they twinkled! His dimples—how merry!
His cheeks were like roses cleared by auxiliary!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard on his chin was as white as RMR snow.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Filled all the stockings (no motion alarms went berserk!).
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
Giving a wink, up the chimney he rose!
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle
And away they all flew—no auto-rearm issue!
But I heard him exclaim as he flew out of sight:
“MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL—AND YOUR SYSTEMS ARMED TIGHT!”
Editor’s note: No actual alarm systems were harmed in the making of this protocol. Please ensure you actually arm your system on Christmas Eve. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of the Grinch.
SSI Industry Hall of Famer Kirk MacDowell is president and founder of MacGuard Security Advisors.
